The French have the Académie Francaise to look after the purity of the language and keep unnecessary interloping words and phrases from English creeping in.

We need a similar institution for English, with the brief to keep out corruption of the language emanating particularly from America.

Unfortunately, the principal language in the USA is English and just as their imperialist politics seeks to take over the world’s economy and culture, so it seeks to take ownership of our language.


Here are some translations, indicating what viruses have infected us, which we need to keep out of our personal lexicons.

Up-dates of dictionaries should steer clear of giving any credence by admission to this verbal junk from across the Atlantic.


Abomination                                                                            Translation

happenstance                                                                           by chance

oftentimes                                                                                often

evening time                                                                             evening

going forward                                                                           in future

absolutely                                                                      yes/exactly/quite so/ I agree

pre-order                                                                                  order

pre-planned                                                                             planned/organised

incredible  (unless meaning literally unbelievable)                      big/memorable/good

awesome                                                                               big/memorable/good

significant (unless followed by what is signified                          big/substantial

issue                                                                                      problem

cool (unless denoting temperature)                                           good/acceptable/agreed

chill out                                                                                    relax

hang out (unless meant literally)                                                pass time/loaf/saunter

guys (unless relating to tents or Guy Fawkes)                             people


Do I seriously intend that no new words should be admitted to the language?

No, but a synonym of what we already have should be a genuine improvement.

If we discount jargon terms from science and similar disciplines, we have about a quarter of a million words in the English language, so we do not need trendy imports to invade it.

Who should by arbiter of admission. As I said at the top, we need an equivalent of the Académie Francaise.

George W Bush, that renowned academic, memorably said that the French do not have a word for entrepreneur. He also said the people of Greece are called Grecians. Yes, but only by him. Buffoon.

Entrepreneur we have correctly admitted, because it neatly summarises what would otherwise require a sentence of explanation.