Before the lockdowns, the UK’s dog population was between 6.5 and 7.4 million.

There are now at least 1 million more.

Lack of social contact has led many people to get a dog for company.  Do they have interesting conversations?  Do they discuss the books they have read?

Chislehurst is about to get its second dog food shop. What goes in must come out. Dog faeces in the UK are estimated to amount to at least one thousand metric tonnes daily.

As a local village idiot, who is out collecting litter on most days of the week, I get the impression that far more than our fair share of that quantity is dropped in Chislehurst.  Most dog walkers do bag it, but they stuff it in noisome street litter bins, toss it into the undergrowth, drop it on the edge of the pavement, or in the gutter, or decorate a hedge. I spend a lot of my time pulling the bags out of litter bins, so that there is space for legitimate litter, including the scores of plastic take-away coffee cups.


I now digress a little. When last able to take a holiday, we went to Northumberland, where I had a novel experience. When phoning a restaurant in order to book a table for two, I was asked: “And how many dogs?”  My reply was: “Forget it.”

In the renowned Ship Inn, Lower Newton, Northumberland, We suffered a couple sharing a table and bench seat with their two dogs.

We were the only couple walking the beaches without at least two mutts in tow.
Down here, it appears to be moving in the same direction. Dogs lead their owners into the take-out coffee shop.  How long before dogs will parade around Sainsbury’s?

When social distancing, one has to step into the road in order to allow the dog and dog-walker, sometimes with up to four dogs, to commandeer the pavement.

And some of these dogs are so ugly.  The French bulldog is one such. Selective breeding has given them malformed heads. This is cruelty. One benefit is that the compromised airway limits the life expectancy of the breed.

Don’t get a dog, consider the adoption of one or two of the thousands of children who need a permanent family placement.

I am old enough to remember the seven shillings and sixpence dog licence.

Bring back the dog licence and make it £100 a year.


Ok, no government will dare to do that; there would be revolution.

Ok, bring back the dog licence, starting at £10 per year, increasing over time.