A CULL OF PIGS?
THERE SHOULD BE A MASSIVE CULL OF DOGS.
Einstein once remarked: “Two things in the universe are infinite in quantity: the universe and human stupidity and I am not sure about the universe.”
In this country there are now 12 million dogs. Brexit has seen off immigrants from the EU and we have replaced those invaluable workers (who are now greatly missed from our economy) with totally useless dogs.
At between 1 and 6 bowel movements per day, those mutts release an estimated 8.4 metric tonnes of shit per day nationwide, although I swear most of it is dropped in Chislehurst.
As I get towards the end of a litter collection, my sack stinks to high heaven and passers-by look at me distastefully.
The biggest growth industries are now the breeding of dogs, the selling of dog food, vetinary care, kennelling and dog-walking.
This morning, 7th October, on the narrow pavement of Royal Parade, there was a hold-up of pedestrians and baby buggies by a dog walker with no fewer than 4 mutts on leads. These are now kings of the pavement; one has to divert into the road, in order not to hamper the royal progress.
Dog-keeping etiquette has gone by the board. Poo-bags are now thrown into the undergrowth as of old, or left at the edge of the pavement, or placed atop a wall, or stuffed into street litter bins, causing legitimate litter to spill out on to the ground. Some dog owners consider it sufficient to have their mutt shit at the edge of the pavement or woodland footpath; there being no need to pick it up. This is an offence in law, but they know they will get away with it.
People now working from home have gone in for dogs in a big way, so that they can enjoy the benefit of walking their pets. The idiots then employ dog-walkers.
Where’s the sense in that?
Don’t bother looking for it; there is no sense in that. The people are barmy.
You see them fondling their mutts like babies. And they expect their dogs to be admitted into pubs and coffee shops. Before long you will see signs outside restaurants saying: “dogs welcome”.
Bring me my shield of burning gold. Bring me my arrows of desire and I will spear as many as possible in protecting England’s green and pleasant land.
I will not hide behind anonymity. I expect a backlash from the army of the barmy. My name is Colin Yardley and my email address is: darwinc@ntlworld.com
CULL THE DOGS
This title is sheer provocation Mr Yardley and as you can guess I don’t share your opinion that dogs should be culled. Your sub-title however is more in my line of thinking but only if the pigs are those despicable humans who are incapable of looking after themselves or their children and who commit all the crimes you describe to justify your imprecations. You are pushing the boat a bit too far: my own dog, who is well trained only has a pooh per day and it would not cross her mind to do it on the pavement or on a path. It would never cross my mind to throw a pooh bag in the bushes and indeed I often walk an extra kilometre to deposit a bagged pooh in the appropriate bin. But I live near Woolwich Common where the crows are more numerous than the dogs and where dogs owners might have more of a sense of duty than the dog walkers of Chislehurst Common – although I doubt it. The pandemic hasn’t helped: a lot of people have got themselves a dog in order to get a justification to get out everyday or to get the kids out of the way, walking the dog, if they were working from home. The result is that even the vets can’t cope with this sudden increase in puppies to vaccinate and tag. However there is no need to impose a yearly tax on dogs – the vets are taking care of that and so are the pets insurances. Even more barmy than your barmies are those people who are adopting neglected dogs from poor European countries when in fact given a few more months the woods and commons of London will crawling with abandoned dogs as soon as life goes back to “normal”. This a common sight in France in the summer, people leaving their dogs on the side of the road because their chosen campsite isn’t accepting dogs.
At least in France cats and dogs etc.. are not called PETS but “animaux domestiques” or “animaux de compagnie”. I have got one of these and she is of great comfort to me: two weeks ago when I came back home from a routine visit to hospital I collapsed on the sofa in my study, having just found out that I have yet another cancer, I suddenly felt a lick on my face and a soft furry head on my shoulder.